Loved, Needed, Created

There’s been a lot of news in the entertainment industry of overdoses and drug use and things that lead to death. Whether the outcome is intentional or not, it’s brought up a lot of talk about mental health. And as I’m sure most of you know, mental health is very close to my heart.

Without going into a lot of detail, I’ve had a lot of mental health issues over the years. Anxiety, panic disorders, and depression have all left major marks on my life. The Lord has been so gracious to be with me and put people in my life to help me fight these issues but it hasn’t been easy.

Life is hard and sometimes it just downright sucks. I’ve seen all of these stories of overdoses and suicides and it breaks my heart just like the rest of y’all. I’m not just sad that they’re gone, I’m heartbroken about what all lead them to take those extra medications, or put that gun to their head, or whatever caused them to leave this world. I’m heartbroken because I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that pain so deep that I never thought I’d find the light again. I’ve wondered what the point of living even was if we’re all going to die one day anyway. I’ve wondered if it would matter to anyone if I just wasn’t here anymore. Would anyone weep over the loss of my life? Would it matter if I just became a memory that some might look fondly back on? Would it matter if I no longer existed?

By the grace of God, I never took steps to end my life but there was always the thought. And because we all have this impossible thought that Christians aren’t affected by mental illnesses, we don’t ask and we shy away from the struggles. But I know better, I’ve seen a lot of Christians struggle in mental illness. Sadly there’s been a story recently of a pastor who took his own life because of his deep struggles with mental illness. I know so many of us are struggling with our lives, our worth, whether we’re actually loved by the people around us or if we’re just tolerated, I just want to plead with you to remember these next few things in times of despair.

The Creator of the universe, the God who spoke this world into existence, who breathed the breath of life into Adam, the God who numbers the exact number of stars in the sky, hairs on your head, and grains of sand, brought you into this world for a purpose. I don’t know what that specific purpose is, but you were no accident sweet friend. He created you with a purpose and for His glory. When you are so far in that deep pit of despair, fight with all you’ve got to remember that you were created for the glory of the Almighty God.

You were not made to live this life alone. The Lord has surrounded you with people that are willing to fight along side you in whatever struggle you may have. Sometimes you’ve got to let every wall down and ask those to help, but He hasn’t left you alone. I know it’s hard, even after you’ve been hurt ( I’m there right now, friend), but do it anyway. I’m preaching to myself here, believe me, but hiding in our struggles and pains hurts more than asking to help. Trust those to carry your burdens like you’ve carried theirs. Real friendships aren’t one sided. It’s not all on you or all on them, it’s all give and take. Don’t be afraid to take a little and ask for help.

We live in a super selfish world and like it or not, we’re very selfish people too, even as believers. When you’re in that pit of despair and ready to end it once and for all, think about this for a second: Yes, your pain would go away, but the pain that you’d leave others in is indescribable. They’d be the next ones lost and confused and grieving so deeply they would feel like they’d never breathe again. We weren’t meant to live this life alone and we also are not to live our lives as if the world revolves around us. You’ve got siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, significant others, neighbors, coworkers, your mail man, your pets, living beings that would feel the pain of your absence. It’s so much harder for the ones that are left here than the ones that have departed, don’t be that person to cause pain.

Sweet friend, I plead with you. You are never too far gone in that pit of despair to turn back towards the light. Use that person the Lord has placed in your life that is willing to carry your burdens but you pushed away in fear. Remember that God created you for a purpose and ultimately for His glory, even this season of suffering can glorify Him. God created you for this specific time and for these people. Whatever you’ve been to them, a shoulder to cry on, a light in darkness, a laugh on a hard day, you’re needed by them.

Reach out to your friends and family when depression sneaks in. Call out to the Lord when anxiety becomes too much to bear. Know that you are loved by the Creator of the Cosmos who sent His perfect and only Son to die on a cross for sinners like you and I. I know it’s hard, believe me I do, but you are loved, needed, and created by the God of the universe. Rest in that, marvel in it, delight in Him. Keep clinging to Him. I love you all.