Christmas will always be tainted with grief for us. It’s been that way for 15 years. What always brought us excitement and giddiness, now brings the bitter sweetness of what once was. And this year is no different, and yet it is. There are days that bring immense joy and excitement over Christmas. Thinking of…
Read MoreTrust and Obey
It’s really simple: you just have to trust and obey. I find myself saying this to the kids all the time: trust me and obey. After the gazillionth time saying this to them, it struck me how often I fail to trust and obey God, thinking my way is better. It hit even harder when…
Read MoreShut It Down
I want to write but don’t fully know what to say. I do know that there are some people out on the inter webs, social media, or whatever that need to hear this: You can shut it down. The computer, the phone, the tv, the tablets, whatever it is that’s causing fear, anxiety, worry: you…
Read MoreHold Me Close
“KK? Close?”, she says it multiple times daily. The almost 2 year old little girl I nanny, looks up at me with her big blue eyes, reaches her hands up, and asks me to hold her close. Nothing’s wrong, she’s not falling apart, in those moments she just wants to be held close. I don’t…
Read MoreHey Mama’s
Hey Mama. I know this wasn’t the Mother’s Day you wanted. Another day stuck in the house with all the kids, the loud toys, the screeching, the crying, and Frozen 2 on the screen for the 173849928474th time. I know you imagined breakfast in bed, some time to yourself, and uninterrupted time with a hot…
Read MoreTonight We Danced
Tonight we danced. • There are so many awful and ugly things around us. Sickness, pain, death, hunger, unemployment, uncertainty, and so many others. It’s ugly, it’s heartbreaking, it’s brought on more tears than we expected or imagined. • But tonight, just for a moment, we danced. • It was as if nothing else mattered…
Read MoreThey’ll Remember
I know it’s a scary time. I know that we’re all looking for answers, solutions, statistics, etc. Our phones and computers are glued to our hands and eyes. We’re anxious, fearful, isolated, and if we’re honest, confused. This doesn’t make sense. Why we’re having to stay home, stay away from others, and be still. Everything…
Read MoreVivid Dreams and Blinks of the Eye
I’ve been having very heavy and vivid dreams lately. I’ve always had vivid dreams (seriously ask some of my friends and family about the vivid and weird dreams I’ve had, they’re crazy) but this one left me feeling very heavy when I woke up. I don’t fully recall what all was happening in the dream…
Read MoreLike Flowers Before You
If you know me at all or if you’ve been following on here for some time, you’ll know my distaste for anything Christmas before Thanksgiving. Well. It’s October 29th, and I’ve been listening to Christmas music for a week. A WEEK. And no, not because the kiddos wanted to, not because I lost a bet,…
Read MoreThe Hurt and The Healing
I had an entire post planned out talking about toxic people, emotional abuse, and losing people we love (people who are still alive but are no longer a part of our lives). But with that still being fresh in my own life as well as people close to me, I decided not to continue writing…
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