How Many and How Long

It’s easy ya know? 

It’s easy to see and get caught up in all that I don’t have and miss all that I do. It’s easy to grieve the life I wish I had, while forgetting the gifts and joy of right now. 

How many people can really say that their sisters and cousins are their best friends? Like so much so, that you can call at any given time and they’re down to do whatever, whether that’s go somewhere or just come sit on the couch and laugh at stupid things. 

How many people can say they’ve gotten to live with their extended family and loved it? It’s like extra siblings and parents that you didn’t really want but now you can’t live without. 

How many people get to have the joy of being trusted to care for so many kids? Ones that all smile and run to you with arms wide open yelling “KK!!!!” any time they see you. 

There are so many “how many” questions I find myself asking and then thanking the Lord for all that He’s given. It’s all such a gift! 

But it’s also easy to ask “how long”? How long do I have to wait and ask and wonder when these days of spontaneous trips, last second babysitting, or unplanned “I’m coming overs” will end? How long until I get to hear “mama” over and over instead of “KK”? How long do I have to ask, Lord? 

It’s kind of Him to show me how good it is right now. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s good. When the laughter is loud, the days are bright, and  the fun is non stop until my head hits the pillow. It’s so good and I am so thankful. 

And how kind is He to continue to listen when we ask the same things over and over? He does not tire of hearing us ask, He is not annoyed when we repeat our prayers, He does not grow weary of His children coming to Him. 

So though it is easy to forget, I hope you and I don’t stop seeing all that He’s doing in our lives and others.

Though it’s easy to grow weary of asking over and over and thinking He’s forgotten us, let’s not stop bringing it all to Him in prayer. He wants us to come to Him, no matter if it’s repetitive or if we’re tired of asking, He isn’t tired of you or I. 

And I hope we can all remember how easy it is to run to our Father in heaven, who is ruling and reigning even now and loves when we come to Him. 

Matthew 11:28-30

-from the book that’s been started but I might never finish.

****if you’ve made it this far and you’ve known I used to write, know that writing doesn’t come as easily as it used to anymore. I have so many notes that I swear to myself I’ll sit down and finish but I find myself distracted and thinking that while you read these words online, you may see someone different in person than what you may perceive on here. I’m the worst person I know and it will forever baffle me that so many of you see good in me because I don’t. I only hope that the good you see is Jesus in me because though I fail Him every day, He never fails me.