Appearance vs. Character

I know, I know. That picture is embarrassing but it goes with what I’m saying so just hang on.

I spent the weekend in Texas with my best friend and her husband. You may be thinking I was somewhere big in Texas like Austin, Houston, Dallas, or San Antonio, but no. I was in a little place called McAllen which is in the deep, DEEP south of Texas. Like, we were a 15 minute drive from Mexico, deep south of Texas.

(And for the record, everything is bigger in Texas no matter where you are.)

ANYWAYS, we spent Saturday at the beach and as nice and relaxing as it was to be there, I was getting increasingly annoyed and frustrated the longer we were there. The company was great, the beach beautiful, and the sounds of the ocean ever relaxing. But what got to me was the amount of females having their pictures taken by their friends, in borderline pornographic poses, drinks in hands, swimsuit bottoms pulled up to show what they’ve got and the tops being tugged and pulled to be… well, you know.

And as I watched this (unwillingly, might I add. It was literally all around us), my first thought was, “Is this what we’ve come to? Is this where our value comes from? How scandalous we can dress and pose? How many likes we get or the amount of times a guy looks our way for what we’re wearing? How did we get here?”

“Is this what we’ve come to?”

Now, look: I don’t claim to be the most beautiful person alive. I know I’m probably a solid 4 by most people’s standards and I’m totally okay with that. I don’t show a lot of skin and if I do, I’m usually tugging at something to cover up more; rarely do my clothes show my shape, I’m trying to do better but most of the time the baggier the better, I don’t wear make up most of the time nor do I dress in the highest of fashions (Real talk, most of that’s because I take care of kids all day and comfort is greater than fashion).

But regardless of what I’m wearing, I would a million times rather someone see me for the way I treat others than the way I look. I’d rather someone tell me that my kindness is what drew me to them than the clothes I was wearing that day. I would rather be seen for my words and actions than appearance.

And friend, that’s what I’m looking for in others too.

I don’t care what you look like. I really don’t. You could have the most perfect body, teeth, hair, nails, clothes, accessories, or whatever; but if you are rude and dismissive, judgmental and arrogant towards others, well then you’re about as ugly as they come. I’m not trying to sound like a jerk or anything, but I think it’s better to be known for our character than anything else.

Friend, if you’re teeth are moving as you breathe, if patches of your hair are falling out, if you’re clothes are your grandma’s from 1945, but you show kindness to the cashier no matter their attitude, you are the most beautiful of humans. If you’re opening doors for strangers, telling the stressed out Mom with the screaming baby that she’s doing such a good job; if your positive attitude and kindness are shining above your old clothes and missing teeth, then you are far above the Kardashians and Real Housewives of this world.

I know that picture up there isn’t cute. I know a lot of y’all are probably thinking, “for real? She chose that picture to put on the internet?” I sure did. Because that picture was taken on a quest for Qdoba after a long day of flying. I had just got up from a nap and Kay offered to get dinner as long as I went with her to Dollar Tree first. So yeah, I’m wearing Mom’s old pair of pajama pants, a sweatshirt, and my hair hadn’t been washed in a few days. But I still smiled at the people I came in contact with, I still said thank you to the people who made our food and worked the cash registers. I still talked to the women we saw from church in Qdoba even in my very unattractive attire.

But I hope that they remember the way I talked to them. I hope they remembered the smile when I greeted them, the please and thank you as we went through the line. And I hope that’s what you strive for too. I hope you want to be seen as kind and respectful rather than hot and arrogant. I hope you want to be seen not as who the filters show online but for who you really are to strangers you pass every day.

I was genuinely sad for those girls I saw at the beach. I was sad because of how they think they have to be to find their value and worth. I was sad because that was probably all they know and they don’t have someone to tell them otherwise.

So I guess I’m here to tell and remind y’all:

I promise that our value and worth is not found online. It’s not found on Instagram likes, Facebook notifications, or the amount of people that have slid in our DM’s to tell us how beautiful we are. Our value and worth was and is found on a cross where Jesus cried, “It is finished!” Jesus Christ, sinless, fully man and fully God, suffered and died on a cross for people like you and me. He paid the ultimate price for worthless sinners like us not because He had to but because He loves us. God loves us so MUCH that He gave the ultimate sacrifice to have a personal relationship with us. And y’all, if we can’t see love in that, then we’re never going to see love anywhere.

So I pray that you aim to see yourself as God sees you. Whole, worthy, redeemed and loved. I pray that you live each day giving Him all the glory and showing Him to all you meet. Through your love, through your kindness, through your selflessness, and not by your looks.

Because if no one has told you today, the way you treat others is the most beautiful thing about you. So don’t forget to be kind, help others, and put Jesus above all else.

I love you friend.

Be kind.

Know your worth.

Remember that Jesus is better.