Have you ever sat down and really thought about how awful we are as human beings? How much our sinful nature controls our lives? Iāve done this before and let me just tell you, it made me so sick to my stomach when I realized how sinful I am. And itās not just my actions, which are bad enough in and of themselves, itās my thoughts too. I have some of the worst thoughts in the world. Whether theyāre about myself, other people, the world around me, or my current life situation, theyāre just awful. And it seems to me that too often, we forget that our thoughts control our lives. They control what we do and say and the choices that we make. Our thoughts are always changing. We can be thinking about that really good cup of coffee we had this morning one second and then the very next second weāre thinking about that terrible outfit we wore in middle school. You know the one, with the gigantic hoop earrings, the multicolored braces and the poof in your hair that was SO cool at that time? (Yes that was me. Apologies to all of those that knew me during that phase.) But our thoughts are changing constantly. And sometimes itās really hard to control them.
As I said in the last post, I got really angry when my Mom died. I was angry at literally everything. The food I ate, the way that person looked at me, but mostly, I was really mad at God. It made zero sense to me as to why He called Mom home when He did. I was only 13, my younger sister 11, and my older sister 15. Because of Him, Mom wouldnāt get to teach Kelcey to drive, she wouldnāt get to see me make it to high school, or see Keriās basketball team be undefeated. And those were such minor things at the time. She wouldnāt get to talk us through heartbreaks or friendships ending, or help us out when we couldnāt understand why that boy didnāt like us or that friend saying what she did. She wouldnāt get to watch any of us graduate high school or college, watch her nieces and nephews get married and have kids, or watch her sisters become grandparents. She was going to miss all of it! I just couldnāt understand it. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I would think about it so much that I would be seething in anger faster than the speed of light. My thoughts led to anger which led to a bad attitude and bad actions. I went through this cycle for several years before I realized that I couldnāt keep it up. My anger towards God was ridiculous. He had His reasons for taking Mom when He did. It was all part of His plan and although I didnāt understand it, He was going to use it for His glory. Ā
With all of that said, in 2014 my church went through a sermon series in 2 Corinthians called āCaptiveā and it was a charge to take our thoughts captive in obedience to Christ. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, it says, āWe destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.ā It was a 6 week series that I still think about today. We even had bracelets made to wear everyday as a reminder to keep our thoughts on Christ. And because of that series and that bracelet, I was able to really take my thoughts captive that year. I remember looking at that bracelet often and being quick to change whatever my thoughts were to ones that were more Christ-centered. Iām reminded of this series often when I catch myself in my thoughts towards others that arenāt always kind. And as often as I think about that series, I donāt follow it like I should. Even just now, as I took a break from writing this to help my cousin, my thoughts were not kind towards her. I let them fly as I normally would but realized pretty quick that those were wrong to have and that Iām not where I need to be with my thoughts. But Iām trying everyday to take them captive. Do any of yāall struggle with keeping your thoughts towards Christ as well? Ā
As angry as I was at God for a long time about my Mom, I look back and see that it lead me to Him. Sometimes God has to bring us to the very end of ourselves to show us how much we need Him. We are nothing without Him, yāall. We have nothing without Him and we wouldnāt be anything without Him. Iām praying for anyone that reads this, that we try harder to take our thoughts captive, that we ask God to help us keep our thoughts on Him, and that we strive everyday to live for Him.
āRejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.ā
Philippians 4:4-9, ESV
Such an eloquently written piece that so perfectly points to the truth!
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